by Josette Gastonguay
There comes a time in most all our lives when we finally accept the lessons of our youth.
We learn through failing and trying and failing again that not everything requires a response, not all actions require a reaction, and our words have power.
Don't get me wrong, there are obvious advantages to youth, but at what cost?
It can be difficult when we're young to accept the lessons of our elders. The wisdom they look to instill within us feels like an alien language we can't quite decipher. The obvious reason is simple, we haven't experienced enough 'yet' to fully understand the lesson. Their wisdom, therefore, can feel forced or in some cases like the aimless ramblings of an older person.
As a result, our youth often results in impulsive decisions, judgements of others made in haste, poor communication, lashing out and generally not thinking through the consequences of our own actions. We send text messages we shouldn't, we write angry emails we can't retract, we post harsh comments that can't be erased, and always convinced we're justified in our actions. Maybe you never lashed out, maybe instead you made reckless decisions like drinking all night with your friends then heading out for skydiving the next day dehydrated resulting in days of sore or torn muscles. The result is the same, damage.
The challenge in life is that, until we've made the mistake ourselves, and suffered the consequences; we won't fully understand the lesson or the wisdom.
Understanding the lessons
One of the greatest lessons I've personally learned over the years has been the 24-48 rule. It's fairly self-explanatory, but essentially it means to hold off reacting to anything that triggers us for 24-48hrs. If after 24-48hrs has passed, and we STILL feel the need to react, then go ahead. If it doesn't, simply walk away. There is power in walking away.
This was a VERY HARD lesson for me to master, because let's face it, our youth is filled with passion, impulsiveness, arrogance and ego, carnal pleasures, and fast decisions. We think we know it all, and certainly from our perspective in that moment of our lives, we do know all that we've experienced. The truth of it is, there's so much more we don't know.
I look back now at the fire within that fueled my youth, and recognize both the ways it has damaged my life, and the ways it was the very thing that saved me from damage. Remembering all the ways I was quick to react without thinking can send shivers down my spine now. The ways I could send daggers through the heart of others simply with my words, absolutely certain in my convictions. Regardless of my faith in my position, WISDOM provides better options.
Hindsight really is 20/20
One of the reasons the young in our world can make such great advocates is that "if" they can funnel their passion and fire into a worthy cause, nearly nothing and no one can stop them from pushing something forward. The danger is often when we're young, we don't really know what a truly worthy cause is, we haven't done enough research, we don't know all the facts or we're simply too self-focused and can't see the path in front of the fast car we're racing through life in.
If I could go back in time there are certainly things I wouldn't have said, patience I would have instilled, grudges I would have released, and forgiveness I would have offered sooner. That's the irony isn't it? That to have wisdom requires time, lessons, patience and growth that we simply don't have in our youth. So we make mistakes, we break hearts, we lash out, we hurt ourselves and others.
In time, the wisdom will arrive. The forgiveness will come. The lessons will be learned and the pain released. What was once a life of racing from experience to experience, passion to passion, will give way to quiet mornings, peace and grace under fire.
If you're still young and have yet to fully understand many of the lessons from your elders, let this be the one that sticks. Take 24-48hrs and rest. Find peace in your heart, meditate, exercise, read a book, focus on your work, take a walk in nature, pet a dog, laugh a little, let the emotion run through you and then release. Chances are you don't know all the facts, you haven't seen all the sides, and a quick reaction could lead to a painful consequence.
Release
by Josette Gastonguay
In the dawn of morning,
In the light of the day,
I'll walk with you,
Till we're far away.
I'll hold you close,
then let you go.
For this passion inside,
Was nothing but a show.
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